IVF ‘rainbow baby’ brought joy after heart-breaking loss
24 Oct 2024
Zoe and Adam had devastatingly lost their first baby, a boy, at 34 weeks following a natural conception. The couple found pregnancy again after successful IVF treatment a worrying time, but fertility testing had helped them to understand the reasons for their loss.
Pregnancy loss covers a number of scenarios including miscarriage (up to 24 weeks), ectopic pregnancy and molar pregnancy. Baby Loss Awareness Week (9-15 October) shines a light on the impact of pregnancy and baby loss on people’s lives.
Terrified at the thought of being pregnant again
Zoe says she wasn’t able to relax until their baby was born. She was pregnant again after the couple lost their first baby, Alfie, at 34 weeks following a natural conception.
“I felt completely terrified at the thought of getting pregnant again. It was so scary; I wasn’t sure if I could go through it a second time.” Zoe remembers feeling very isolated. “Three of my friends were pregnant, and I felt so left behind. I knew that was the life I wanted but it had been taken away from me and I found the sight of pregnant women triggering.
“But as time went on. I realised that my longing to have a child was greater than my fear of losing another pregnancy.
“Adam and I talked about it and knew we wanted to have a baby together and we decided after six months that the time was right to try again.”
Even though it may never happen again, couples often want reasons for their loss. Our Miscarriage Clinic aims to provide some answers to their questions and recommendations where appropriate.
Fertility testing revealed a medical condition
The couple had been together since they were teenagers and had become pregnant the first time within a few months of trying, but this time it didn’t happen.
“I just knew in my head that something wasn’t right,” says Zoe. Fertility tests subsequently confirmed that an underlying medical condition was making the couple’s chances of conceiving again naturally very slim – and they would need IVF.
“We were entitled to NHS-funded IVF and chose to go to Bourn Hall, where Zoe says the team were incredibly sensitive and mindful of what they had been through. “I felt as though a bit of control had been given back to me; it wasn’t a waiting game anymore.
“Everyone was amazing. I got very upset during my egg retrieval and started to cry, thinking about Alfie, and the nurse just stopped the procedure for a moment, held my hand and said some kind words.
“We had a lovely doctor too, Dr Mauro; she was really nice and reassuring.
“I was really anxious for most of my pregnancy because of what happened before; 34 weeks felt like a psychological milestone – once I was past that I found the rest of the pregnancy a bit easier. I was very well looked after by the hospital and my consultant who was amazing.”
Rainbow baby brings joy
The couple’s daughter Isabella was born in August 2023.
“I was apprehensive when I went into Hinchingbrooke Hospital, but our midwife was wonderful. She knew about our loss. She came into the room and said: ‘you are going to have a baby, it is going to be amazing. You are going to enjoy it.’
“When Isabella arrived, I think our overwhelming emotion was one of relief. It felt amazing. I looked at Adam and we both breathed a sigh of relief and I said, ‘we’ve made it.’
“Alfie will always be a part of our lives. We talk about him to Isabella already and we have just as many pictures of Alfie up in our house as we do of Isabella. He was the baby that made me a mum and taught me so much about myself. Such a loss shapes you as a person, but now I can remember him with love.”
Ellie Hurn, Fertility Midwife
Losing a pregnancy, at whatever stage, can be heart-breaking. An instinctive reaction is to question why it happened, if it could have been prevented – and whether you can emotionally face trying for a baby again.
Fertility Midwife Ellie Hurn understands the impact of loss: “In my previous role as an NHS midwife I cared for families who experienced miscarriage and baby loss and have witnessed first-hand the devastation it causes,” she says.
She has helped to set up Bourn Hall’s Miscarriage Clinic service to help anyone who has experienced one or more miscarriages or early pregnancy losses (EPL). The tailored investigations look to provide explanations and advice for future pregnancies, either natural or after IVF, and includes an early reassurance scan at seven weeks.
Ellie says that this reassurance is valued by those that have used the service: “Getting pregnant after a loss can be an anxious time, it is a mixture of excitement but tinged with nerves and they need reassurance that this pregnancy is going to ‘stick’.
“The whole team at Bourn Hall is here to ensure people feel supported and reassured as they move forward.”
More information
Find out more about Baby Loss Awareness Week at babyloss-awareness.org.
Bourn Hall provides a Miscarriage Clinic for those who have lost one or more pregnancies and a Fertility Support group.
Find out how can we help you
Book a consultation call with our team to find out how Bourn Hall can help you on your fertility journey
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